Bloody Fantastic Ch. 4

A mouse clad in shining armor appeared, the only thing visible in a bleak expanse of space. I was vaguely aware that even I was not truly there. Nothingness and black, all except for a mouse. I tried to speak, but found no voice. I tried to move, but had nothing of which I could move. I felt trapped in the surrounding void.

"From worlds away, in desperate need,
a lone fox brought you here.
Now cat, you must listen, and take heed,
for you to find the seer."

Suddenly, another animal appeared. Colors emerged around it, molding and shifting to form a clearing around it. It was a fox, donned in silk and walking along a path. Soon, other less clear shapes took their place around it, and the image became that of an army traveling.

"For intents less pure, they sought you,
to help them defeat my ancient home."

The colors yet again morphed, now displaying a grand building made of red bricks. It almost immediately burst into flame, and shouts and shrieks could be heard from it as dark figures poured into it with spears and swords and torches and the like.

"Now I'll tell you what to do,
to-"
________________________________________________
"WAKE UP YOU LAZY BLOODY VERMIN!"

The world came back with a swift kick to the gut, and I almost immediately missed the sensation of not feeling my body. I sat up to see the faces of my cheery hiking guides picking up their meager supplies. Standing above me, the endearing scowl of Sparrow showed as bright as the sun. Her buck teeth prominent and her little whiskers twitching, it was more than a little challenging to take her seriously.

Whack!

The kicks helped in that regard. Rubbing my newly acquired bruise, I decided to address the group while a majority of them looked too preoccupied to do more damage to me.

"Quick question. Does anyone here actually want me to make it to Redbrick?"

"Redwall, ya mean?" the male rabbit asked.

"Thank you... Ken? Your name was Ken- is Ken? Right? Ken?"

"Kenwall. Colonel Kenwall Waship Juvial," he recited proudly.

"Alright. I'll try to remember that. So, do you want to see me make it to Redwall?"

"So long as you've proven to me that you won't harm any decent beast in there? It'd be my pleasure to escort ya there," he said while rolling up the last of the mats. The other rabbit, whose name I'd have to ask for later, was busy sifting through arrows and lances in a sling. Sparrow was giving me the stink eye while packing up leftovers from a meal I must have slept through.

"And also your job."

"Aye, that too."
Ok, so he doesn't hate me. It's not a genetic thing for all rabbits to be jerks. Good to know.

"Alright, so... wouldn't it make sense to not kick me or punch me at every opportunity so we can hurry and get to Redwall?"

"Don't look at me, I haven't done a thing to you." He chuckled. We glanced over to Sparrow, who was busy trying to make the "if looks could kill" phrase an actual form of murder. Kenwall chuckled and started walking towards the edge of the campsite. Seeing as he was distancing himself from Sparrow, I decided it wouldn't be a bad idea to follow.

"Well I'd ask her, but I don't exactly think I'd be able to walk away from that conversation unharmed."

"That's a fair concern," he admitted, a small smile showing itself beneath the bushy caterpillar one might call a ridiculous facial hair choice.

"How about what's-her-name?" I decided to bring the other one I sort of kept forgetting about into the conversation.

"Rodie?"

"What, no 'Major' or 'Corporal' or list of her other twenty names?"

"It's a wonder nobeast has killed you yet, y'know."

"I haven't been here long, that might just be why."

"Well, I sincerely doubt she wants to disappoint the good lady. She'd never hear the end of it from a good lot o' the Patrol if she came back a failure on such a simple mission."

"Oh goody, so at least two out of three would rather I keep drawing breath. I have better odds than I thought. Heck, I don't even think I have those kind of statistics back where I'm from."

"Where are you from, might I ask?"

"Do you know where Nebraska is?"

"Not familiar."
"United States?"
"No."
"North America?"
"No."
"Western Hemisphere?"
"No."
"The planet Earth?"
"The what?"

Oh my God, this is bloody torture...

Wait... Constant abuse, mental deterioration, the feeling that there's a higher being somewhere purposefully making things more difficult for me...

"Am I in Hell?" I asked, stopping in my tracks, as all this seemed to be coming together. I mean, my last memory was that of blacking out at a club... could I have been drugged? Poisoned? And if so, why wasn't Rick here as well? Rick deserved Hell way more then me! Is this because he went to church that morning? Is that seriously the reason?
What the-

"No. You're on your way to Mossflower Wood though, there may be a few spots one could relate to Hellsgates."

"Ok, so you know what HELL is, but the concept and or name of the planet you're on RIGHT NOW is what's flying over your head?"

"Quit arguin', cat! It's time to move, wot wot!" came my favorite voice in existence from behind.

I AM GOING TO SHOVE THAT SPEAR DOWN HER THROAT, SO HELP ME!

"Alright." I muttered.

The hiking began, and continued the rest of the day, with little to no distractions. We set up camp in yet another clearing (there seemed to be an awful lot of those) and went to bed. Let me tell you, it's nice to go to sleep without the assistance of a blunt object for once.